….. bound for Melbourne and traversing as barren a piece of sand and bog country as you could wish to see, for on that sort of soil is the good town of Sandridge
set down I
cannot say built, the name perfectly well expresses the nature of the land, it is a succession of ridges of sand, deep, heavy, wet shifting sand with here and there a bog or two, round and in which grew long dark rushes and scrub; scattered at intervals are ragged
barkless gum trees (but as yet no opossums up them), you know of course that the trees here shed their bark and not their leaves in winter) that is the appearance of the face of the country, low fields and swampy, the town of Sandridge is well planned as far as the ground plan goes, but the original intentions are not yet carried out, the streets are intended to run at right angles and have ample breadth, at present there are thousands of gaps of waste ground in them and every man having built
what he likes, and
how he likes, the tenements are of course perfectly incongruous, to understand therefore what Sandridge
is you must imagine the sort of country I have described, and draw all your imaginary streets in parallel lines east and west, then take the following ingredients — a few London gin shops, rather
dirtier and
finer than their old world contemporaries but brightly lighted with gas — a few beer shops with seats outside the doors as seen in country villages a few “semi detached” villas such as you see about suburban London in third rate districts worth £25 per annum or so, containing five or six rooms, a few houses on wheels
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such as used by travelling showmen at home but here permanently located — a few wooden sheds, in horrible repair ends and sides made good with blankets and canvas, hundreds of wooden two or three roomed cottages, standing on piles if the ground is swampy,
set down in the sand if it is dry — a few Jew pawn brokers, and holes such as you may find about Whitechapel or Wapping, a methodist chapel or two, a trim church, well built of the colonial black stone in an enclosure — a few second and third rate houses such as make up our streets and shops in country market towns — a few flaring dancing booths, many drunken sailors, many “nice young ladies” a few Bazar [sic]looking shops kept by doubtful looking Ethiopians, scores of
cars, drawn by one horse each and driven by a Yankee. Mix them all well up together having first ticketed everything with most stupendous names, then set down your gin shops your beer shops, your booths, your chapels, your church, your shops, in fact your whole “material”
exactly where and how you like without any attempt at order whatever, observe no rules, except to bear in mind that you give the most stupendous names to the most wretched looking places,
these which I have the honour of introducing to your notice [here are illustrated a number of sheds bearing titles such as “Insurance and Law Office” and “Furnishing Emporium”]are built on a
swamp as you may notice, hereafter I may show you others erected on the
sand — I trust now that you will have some little general notion of Sandridge, but the whistle is sounding and we are entering at last the good town of
Melbourne the chief city of Victoria, acknowledged by everybody to be the most wonderful place in the world
for its age the golden age, but five years since and Sandridge was called “canvas town” from the simple fact that its inhabitants lived in tents now it is what I
have endeavoured to describe, and the city itself is what I hope a little to expatiate upon, “Your ticket Sir thank you” “Collins Street Sir straight up and turn to the left” a few steps the rubicon is past and the great city of the new world is all before me — Wide streets and small houses, singular drainage, large shops, looks something like Edinburgh these were my first impressions as I walked up Elizabeth Street, but like many first impressions were not correct as I hope to presently make you understand, following my directions I turned to the left up Collins Street and began to see really fine houses and commercial establishments worthy of any part of London or Liverpool, having a thoroughly business aspect, good frontages, and the throng of people giving me full notions of all the activity of the cities of the old world — To the Union Bank first to get my papers verified and procure materials for carrying on the war, with advantage and comfort, though I fear I shall have more nuggets than I shall take home with me from the gold fields of Australia which I hope to visit, wonderfully kind and courteous the officials at the bank, business you know first, and pleasure afterwards
business being now concluded I proceed to the “pleasure” of visiting the well known Dr. Motherwell of Collins Street to consult him as to this pain in the back which has harassed me so much all the voyage long — and which also at this time I am particularly anxious to part company from, most kindly did the good doctor receive me, but I will not bother you with his medical opinions, you hear enough of physic at home, I will only say that I am to call on him again on Wednesday and accompany him to see the hospital which I learn is a fine establishment — out into the busy streets again, any direction quite suits
me my time is my own and Melbourne all before me this fine warm morning….. Policeman what building is that? “Town Hall Sir”, a fine building of
the colonial black stone, see it again another day, what a swell Policeman, nattily dressed, courteous and
gentlemanly in his bearing (come out here you dirty lubberly B9949, you bully Irishman whom I know so well in House maid lane Pimlico and see what a policeman
ought to be you swabby faced blackguard)